Marriage

Text: Genesis 2:24-25

God has established laws that govern without respect of persons.  The law of gravity is a law without regard for who it affects. If a person decides to jump out of a building they will fall.  If the President of the United States decides to jump out of a building he will fall. When God created the relationship of marriage He laid down four laws or foundations on which He would build.

God created marriage.  It’s not a creation of the state or the Supreme Court.

Marriage exists to unite a man and a woman as husband and wife in companionship and to then be equipped to be mother and father to any children that that union produces.

  • Out of marriage comes the sociological truth that men and women are distinct and complementary – not good that man should be alone.
  • Out of marriage comes the biological truth that reproduction requires a man and a woman – heirs together of the grace of life.  Science says we can do it without a man and a woman.  No, you can’t. God says get your own dirt. You will need an egg from a woman.
  • Our of marriage comes the spiritual reality that love is learned in commitment.
  • Out of marriage comes the generational truth that children need a mother and a father.  Or generally said a father figure and a mother figure where mom and dad are not present for whatever reason.
  • Paul, Daniel – never married.
  • Peter was married. Ezekiel, Hosea
  • So much of this is about expectations and aligning our expectations with God’s words about a relationship that he set up.  Ultimately about trusting God.

Priority – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother

  • Marriage is changing relational priorities
    • A healthy marriage is one in which marriage is the priority.
    • Most important relationship is with mom and dad until marriage
    • Marriage relationship loses priority for one of two reasons; neglect or retreat.
    • Communicate priority with:
      • Sacrifice
      • Time – Time is the commodity of relationships.  Sometimes we put so much time into other people we neglect our own family.
      • Energy – devote energy to the relationship – actively participate.  Marriage is not a spectator sport and when one party becomes a spectator the marriage has begun to fail
      • Attitude – positive and affirming. Spouse should be best friend. Esteeming one another
    • Keeping marriage a priority:
      • Date nights
      • traditions
      • make much of your mutual interests
      • take an interest in the other’s interests
    • The Lord Jesus Christ left glory to pursue and make his relationship with sinners as his priority.
    • When Christians get distracted about a relationships and get their eyes off the Lord Jesus Christ; with men, they think satisfaction and women think security, or the need to be needed.
      • He thinks she’ll never change, and she does.  She thinks she’ll change him and she doesn’t. The expectations are wrong right off the bat.
  • ‘Is it true, Dad,’ asked Laurence, that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries?’ ‘That happens everywhere,” responds his father.
  • What to consider before dating anyone (Great outline by Pastor Rick Sowell)
    • Who are the fathers
      • Spiritual – not only saved, but outspoken Christian
      • Earthly – Dad not involved, more problems
    • How about the families
      • How does he treat mom?  How does she treat dad?
      • How about siblings? Wrestle a lot?  Only child marry only child?
    • What about their philosophy?
      • Where do you want to be in 20 years?
      • Do they want to have several kids or none?
      • Discipline, financial philosophy
      • Did God call you to a ministry?
    • What about their finances?
      • 90% of marriages site finances as cause of the breakup
      • Can they handle money?
      • Are they tithing? Give to missions?
    • How do you have fun?
      • Marry someone you can have fun with
      • Dull, working always?  How do they have fun?

Pursuit – and shall cleave unto his wife

  • Secondly, marriage is a PURSUIT.  Pursuit meaning that marriage is accomplished on purpose; it requires you to move in the direction of forgiveness, charity, compassion, wisdom, selflessness
  • Some get married and cleave to their boat or ambitions.
  • It requires diligence and obedience to God’s word.  God said it this way that man shall cleave unto his wife.
  • Feelings are fleeting
  • Wife said to her husband,”When I die, I want to be cremated.” Husband said, “Great, how about Tuesday?”
  • It will require effort and it must be done on purpose.
  • Wife: What are you doing?. Husband: Nothing. Wife: You did nothing yesterday.  Husband: I’m not finished.
    • Desire to spend time
    • Time spent
    • Empathy and understanding
  • Marriages don’t work by accident, they require attention and commitment.  There are some misconceptions about love and romance.
    • If I married the right person, then the emotions should automatically follow forever.
    • If my emotions toward my spouse have changed, then I must have married the wrong person.
    • Marriage is the basis for love, not love that love is the basis for marriage.  A worldly reason for divorce: “We don’t love each other anymore” See Hosea 2:19-20.  You and your spouse love each other more and differently than when you got married because love will grow.
  • The Lord Jesus Christ has made you his priority.  Ever considered that?

Possession – and they two shall be one flesh

  • The third part of Genesis 2:24 where God defines marriage is the POSSESSION; it is a joining together.
  • Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
    • The Lord Jesus Christ concluded his answer to the Pharisees in Matthew 19:6 with, What therefore God hath joined together (man & woman), let not man put asunder.
  • Marriage is joining together, lives are shared, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual
    • 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 everything in marriage is shared
    • Matthew 19:3-9 – two joined together in all things
    • Sharing for better or worse.  You give of yourself to another person.
  • What is God’s design in joining a man and woman together?  Three things:
    • Fellowship – intimacy and companionship with your spouse, Genesis 2:18, 2 Samuel 12:24 – two are stronger than one – understand your contribution and your role in the marriage
    • Fruitfulness – Though God can create without two parties involved He has designed people to be fruitful in a marriage, heirs together of the grace of life – John 15:5
    • Human relationship based on God’s relationship with His people, Ephesians 5:31-32
  • Sharing works
    • Sharing communicates value
    • Sharing prevents jealousy
    • Sharing enables intimacy
    • Sharing teaches selflessness

Purity – and they were both naked… and were not ashamed

  • Another word would be holiness.
  • Marriage is supposed to have a purifying effect.