Marriage

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Wife said to her husband,”When I die, I want to be cremated.” Husband said, “Great, how about Tuesday?”

Wife: What are you doing?. Husband: Nothing. Wife: You did nothing yesterday.  Husband: I’m not finished.

God created marriage.  It’s not a creation of the state or the Supreme Court.

Marriage exists to unite a man and a woman as husband and wife in companionship and to then be equipped to be mother and father to any children that union produces. 

• Out of marriage comes the sociological truth that men and women are distinct and complementary – not good that man should be alone.
• Out of marriage comes the biological truth that reproduction requires a man and a woman – heirs together of the grace of life.  Science says we can do it without a man and a woman.  No, you can’t.
• Out of marriage comes the spiritual reality that love is learned in commitment.
• Out of marriage comes the generational truth that children need a mother and a father.  Or generally said a father figure and a mother figure where mom and dad are not present for whatever reason.
• Marriage is not for everyone. Neither Paul nor Daniel ever married.
• Peter was married. Ezekiel, Hosea
• So much of this is about expectations and aligning our expectations with God’s words about a relationship that he set up.  Ultimately about trusting God.

Priority – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother

• Marriage is changing relational priorities
  • Most important relationship is with mom and dad until marriage
  • A healthy marriage is one in which marriage is the priority. 
• Making marriage a priority means:
  • Respect for one another. You’re no longer looking for a spouse.
  • Spending time with each other. (Dates, enjoying the other’s interests.)
  • Actively participating in the marriage, not just getting what you want out of it.
  • Good attitude toward the other.
  • Marriage relationship loses priority for one of two reasons; neglect or retreat.
• Have you heard of the 5 love languages? After nearly 20 years of marriage to Marybeth I’ve discovered her love language; it’s called laundry. If I put on a little soft jazz music, light a candle, and start folding clothes, she falls in love all over again.

Pursuit – and shall cleave unto his wife

• Secondly, marriage is a PURSUIT. Pursuit means that marriage is accomplished on purpose; it requires you to move in the direction of forgiveness, charity, compassion, and selflessness.
• Some get married but continue to cleave to their job, their entertainment, even their ministry.
  • By virtue of neglect the marriage begins to have irreconcilable problems.
  • When the marriage gets neglected you’ll find one spouse looking for companionship from someone else. This isn’t always the cause of adultery, but it can often be.
• Marriages don’t work by accident, they require attention and commitment. There are some misconceptions about love and romance.
  • If I married the right person, then the emotions should automatically follow forever.
  • If my emotions toward my spouse have changed, then I must have married the wrong person.
• Marriage commitment is the basis for love, not that love is the basis for marriage. A worldly reason for divorce: “We don’t love each other anymore”

Possession – and they two shall be one flesh

• The third part of Genesis 2:24 where God defines marriage is the POSSESSION; it is a joining together.
• Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
• The Lord Jesus Christ concluded his answer to the Pharisees in Matthew 19:6 with, What therefore God hath joined together (man & woman), let not man put asunder.
• Marriage is joining together, lives are shared, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual
  • 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 everything in marriage is shared
• Sharing for better or worse.  You give of yourself to another person.
• What is God’s design in joining a man and woman together?  Two things:
  • Fellowship – intimacy and companionship with your spouse, Genesis 2:18.
  • Fruitfulness – God designed people to be fruitful in a marriage, heirs together of the grace of life – John 15:5
  • Sharing works
    • Sharing communicates value
    • Sharing prevents jealousy
    • Sharing enables intimacy
    • Sharing teaches selflessness

Passion – and they were both naked… and were not ashamed

• Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
• So nakedness together is a marriage activity.