Forgiveness - Bible Baptist Church

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Ephesians 4:30-32

This subject has been somewhat of a mystery to me for a good while. Forgiveness has been a little bit confusing because the LORD clearly expects his people to be forgiving people. But sometimes there is forgiveness, but there is still a broken relationship. Or sometimes there seems to be forgiveness, but there is not restoration. So I would wonder if that was actually forgiveness or if forgiveness was something I wasn’t understanding. Then I heard a great sermon on forgiveness this week by Travis Alltop that really put some things about forgiveness in perspective.

Forgiveness is NOT reconciliation

Reconciliation takes two people.
Forgiveness opens the door to reconciliation, but doesn’t mean reconciliation.
There was a situation where a man did something with a minor that was illegal and immoral. The victim chose to let that go as best she could and forgive the man, but there was no reconciliation. There was never a relationship again.
Sometimes it’s necessary to forgive someone who is dead.

Forgiveness is NOT restoration

I can live in such a way as to forfeit being a pastor. The people of this church may forgive me in the future, but there is not going to be any restoration of the former office.
Borrowing money and not paying back. The debt can be forgiven, but the money is never restored.

Forgiveness is not turning a blind eye to sin

Forgiveness is canceling debt

The world would say you’re a Christian and you need to forgive and move on. You can move on without forgiveness.
Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

You’ll know you’ve forgiven when you stop thinking about vengeance.

You’ll know you’ve forgiven when the burden of bitterness is gone.

You’ll know you’ve forgiven when you’ve freed yourself to act charitably toward your offender.

You’ll know you’ve forgiven when you can genuinely pray for your offender’s well-being.

Duty demands it

Luke 17:1-10 …if he repent… Increase our faith… done that which was our duty.
I need more faith to stop thinking about vengeance.
I need more faith to let go of the burden of bitterness.
I need more faith to act genuinely charitably toward an offender.
I need more faith to genuinely pray for this person’s well being.

It allows you to be free from bondage

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Sometimes it allows them to be free as well.

It makes you quit playing the victim

The reason you play the victim is so you can get away with doing something wrong.
Sometimes it’s fun to have a pity party.
2 Corinthians 11:19-28 – Instead of Paul playing the victim, he uses those to show victory, not defeat. Now our list wouldn’t look like that. We might say, “I survived the sideways look from so and so and it didn’t ruin my day. And I’m STILL going to pray for them!” Baby steps.

It grieves the Holy Spirit and gives Satan the advantage

2 Corinthians 2:6-11
Forgiveness, but no reconciliation or restoration.

On July 31, 1977, David Berkowitz – the Son of Sam – killed Robert Violante and Stacy Moskowitz, at the corner of Shore Parkway and Bay 14th Street in Bath Beach, Brooklyn. Berkowitz silently came to the passenger window and shot them. Two bullets hit Moskowitz in the head and neck, and a third pierced Violante’s left eye.

Neysa was Stacy’s mother. In 1978, Neysa, during Berkowitz’s trial, shouted back across the packed Brooklyn courtroom: “You animal”. She vowed vengeance on Berkowitz. “I don’t believe in turning the other cheek when you take a child from a mother,” she said.

However, her stance on vengeance changed over the years. “She would say things like, ‘this kind of anger can make you sick. Don’t let anger eat you up,’” said her close friend and neighbor, Sharon Denaro.

David Berkowitz, 10 years into his prison sentence was saved. And it was a glorious change. One thing he did afterwards was he began praying for the lives and families he destroyed. Neysa Moskowitz, Stacy’s mother, heard that Berkowitz was saved. She sent him a letter that said to call her. Berkowitz got the letter and after three months of praying for courage to talk to her, he used an old pay phone at the prison to call Neysa. He walked through the cold prison yard, made the call on the payphone, and Mrs. Moskowitz answered. David said, Hello, is this Mrs. Moskowitz? She said, Yes, is this David? And for five minutes he couldn’t control the tears, crying, apologizing, begging for forgiveness. Neysa Moskowitz replied, David, I’ve already forgiven you because the anger I’ve held in my heart toward you is poisoning me.