Marriage by Design - Bible Baptist Church

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Marriage by Design

Text: Genesis 2:24-25

Love language is laundry.

God created marriage. It’s not a creation of the state or the Supreme Court. So much of this is about expectations and aligning our expectations with God’s words about a relationship that he set up. Ultimately about trusting God.

Marriage exists as the union of a man and a woman as husband and wife in companionship

Out of marriage comes the truth that men and women are distinct and complementary – not good that man should be alone. Not good means man will not be able to produce life by himself.
Out of marriage comes the truth that new life requires a man and a woman – heirs together of the grace of life.
Out of marriage comes the truth that love is learned in commitment.
Out of marriage comes the truth that children need a mother and a father. Or generally said a father figure and a mother figure where mom and dad are not present for whatever reason.
Marriage is not for everyone. Neither Paul nor Daniel ever married.
Peter was married. Ezekiel, Hosea

Leave the first relationship to form a new relationship

Therefore shall man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife
Marriage is changing relational priorities
- Marriage is not an additional relationship, in many ways it’s a replacement. A quick way to figure that out is tell your wife she doesn’t cook like your mother. Then you’ll find out from your wife this relationship isn’t just an addition, it’s a replacement in a large sense.
- Leaving the first relationship with mom or dad is generally hard.
  - The most important relationship is with mom and dad until marriage.
  - It’s hard on mom and dad.
  - People innately know this because things get messy with a momma’s boy who continues to allow Momma to run his life after he’s married.
  - When the marriage isn’t prioritized as the new relationship you’ve agreed to, there is unnecessary trouble.
- A healthy marriage is one in which marriage is the priority.
Making marriage a priority means:
- Respect for one another. You’re no longer looking for a spouse.
- Spending time with each other. (Dates, enjoying the other’s interests.)
- Actively participating in the marriage, not just getting what you want out of it.
- Good attitude toward the other.
Marriage is a decision you make to mutually sacrifice and benefit from one another.
- This is how Paul put it when likening Christianity to marriage.
  - She sacrifices her will for yours, wives submit to their husbands. This isn’t an everyday thing. A wife who knows she’s truly loved and cared for by her husband does not seem to have any problem supporting him in what he chooses.
  - Men sacrifice your life for hers. Men will gladly and probably proudly do this for a wife who takes care of them.
- Marriage requires you to move in the direction of forgiveness, charity, compassion, and selflessness. Men, it’s your job to take the lead in these things.
Marriages don’t work by accident; they require attention and commitment.
- When the marriage gets neglected you’ll find one spouse looking for companionship from someone else. This isn’t always the cause of adultery, but it can often be.
- People think that if I marry the right person, then the feelings will stay what they are. I say enjoy the feelings and also don‘t be surprised when the feelings mature as the relationship matures.
- Marriage commitment is the basis for love, not that love is the basis for marriage.

A new union of mutual sacrifice and benefits

and they two shall be one flesh
Marriage is a joining together.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Jesus Christ concluded his answer to the Pharisees in Matthew 19:6 with, What therefore God hath joined together (man & woman), let not man put asunder.
Marriage is joining together, lives are shared, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual
- Some couples do separate bank accounts. Whatever you want to do. I don’t because I’ve learned wife math. Wife math is if the husband has $40 and the wife has $10, the wife has $50.
- But seriously, if you do separate accounts, whatever floats your boat. Just understand ma’am that if your husband runs into money problems and can’t pay whatever bills you decided to split. Those will become your problems no matter whose name is on the accounts.
- 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 Everything in marriage is shared
- Sharing for better or worse. You give of yourself to another person.
Marriage sounds disastrous to some people so they avoid it altogether. But marriage is sharing and sharing is more helpful to you than you may realize.
- Sharing communicates value. You want to be valued.
- Sharing enables intimacy. You want someone you can be close to.
- Sharing teaches selflessness. You don’t need to be a selfish narcissist.

Marriage is clean

and they were both naked… and were not ashamed
So nakedness together is a marriage activity.
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
What makes it clean? Is it the piece of paper issued by the county? No. Now, to the government it is. To the government marriage is a piece of paper. But that piece of paper has failed millions of times.
What is it that makes the marriage clean? It’s the mutual commitment of each party.
In this way, marriage is a great picture of Christianity.
- Before Christ, the old covenant was written on tables of stone. But it was faulty. It couldn’t hold together the relationship of Israel and God.
- After Christ, the new covenant is written on the hearts. George Whitefield put it best in his sermon. The real things that make marriage holy are:
  - the mutual choice between bride and groom (Christ and his people),
  - the mutual affection between bride and groom (Christ and his people),
  - the mutual union between bride and groom (Christ and his people),
  - and the mutual obligations between bride and groom (Christ and his people).